


Wings, Whips, and the Waves They Make

by The_small_one_to_rule_them_all



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Swears, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, Cute Ending, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Little Shit, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gen, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Injury Recovery, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Original Character(s), Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Torture, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, Winged Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, abusive orange side, but i regret some things, i dont regret everything, i made my own orange side, patton has healing magic, strongly implied cannibalism??, unsympathetic orange side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22204267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_small_one_to_rule_them_all/pseuds/The_small_one_to_rule_them_all
Summary: Winged!Virgil has a run in with Remus that sparks a crazy turn of events that leave them all a bit worse for wear. Virgil can’t catch a break (he deserves better). Patton is loyal to a fault and there are repercussions. Roman gets saved in this one. Logan does damage control.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	Wings, Whips, and the Waves They Make

They had been relaxing, having a famILY picnic for lunch in the imagination when Remus shows up out of nowhere and takes a swing at Virgil while he isn't looking. Roman jumps to bat him away. He doesn't make it. The sword swings. It lands. Virgil is on the ground unconscious. His wings are no longer attached to his body, laying three feet from him.

Logan and Patton rush forward to tend to Virgil as Roman redoubles his efforts to defeat Remus behind him.

Virgil collapses on his stomach and Patton kneels by his head as Logan inspects his back.

“Virgil, Virge, I got you.You’re safe now.” Patton coos, lifting Virgil’s head into his lap.

Virgil groans and opens his eyes.

“We’ve got you, kitten. Logan is fixing you up right now. It’s going to be okay.”

“NO!” Virgil shouts, eyes opening wide..

Logan and Patton freeze

“Don't try and fix it. Don't try and stop the bleeding. It will only hurt worse when they come back.”

“When they _what_!?” Logan shrieks. 

Virgil sighs, “When they grow back. Trust me, _please_. Don't make this worse than it is already going to be.”

Logan doesn’t want to listen, but he can't bring himself to ignore Virgil’s pleas and so abandons his medical kit.

Patton frowns, “Virgil, what can we do?”

“Just... let me cry. Don't touch my upper back. And, maybe... let me hug you...” Virgil mutters quietly.

Patton immediately nods, “Of course! You can hug me all you need. Can you sit up or do you need some help?”

Virgil grimaces, “I got it.” He brings his knees under him and uses his core to sit up far enough to collapse into Patton’s arms and chest.

Patton helps him adjust his legs, “There we are. Is this okay?”

Virgil has his arms wrapped around Patton’s neck with his face buried in his shoulder and is, for all intents and purposes, sitting in Patton’s lap. 

Virgil nods, “Yeah Butterfly, this is good.”

Logan looks him over, feeling a bit useless, “Would some painkillers help with the... process?”

Virgil shakes his head, grimacing as he feels the wings begin to grow, “You don't have anything that’s _near_ strong enough. Thanks though.”

Logan nods.

Virgil tucks his head into Patton’s shoulder as a steady stream of groans and curses falls from his lips.

Patton would chide him on his language if he wasn't currently watching skin-covered bones start to grow from the open wounds on Virgil’s back.

Logan watches silently, facing Patton with a horrified look on his face.

Virgil writhes in Patton’s lap and begins to cry as muscle and skin stretch to cover the bone and more and more bones begin to form. There is a sickening pop as each bone appears. And with each one Virgil seems to scream louder. The wings form inch by inch until halfway through they see a large bone spring into existence in the webbing of his wing. Virgil howls, biting down on Patton’s shoulder on instinct.

Patton has one arm on Virgil’s lower back and one in his hair. The hand in his hair is rubbing slowly in a feeble attempt to sooth the writhing side, the other is a constant presence that he hopes keeps Virgil grounded.

Not far away, Roman defeats his brother. He turns around to walk triumphantly over to the others, when he hears Virgil’s screams. He rushes over and stares in horror as he takes in the scene before him. 

Virgil isn't the only one crying. Logan is staring at Virgil’s wings horrified, tears falling down his face, wincing at every pop and resulting shriek. Patton started crying long ago if the flood of tears dripping off his chin is anything to go by. Roman slowly takes a seat next to Logan and takes his hand. Logan squeezes it in acknowledgement as Roman turns so he doesn't have to watch. The sight makes him queasy and soon he is crying too, the sounds coming from Virgil piercing his heart. They all sit there for a time, crying, waiting desperately for this to be over.

Patton knows that the wings are finally finished growing when the feathers have grown in and Virgil stops writhing, though his crying doesn't fade. Patton leans down and whispers what he hopes are comforting words into his hair, “It's over. You’re gonna be okay. It’s all over. I'm sorry. I’ve got you kitten.”

Logan knows it’s over when he watches Virgil slump against Patton. He sighs and finally peels his eyes away leaning his forehead on Roman’s shoulder. Roman runs a soothing hand over Logan’s back, laying a kiss on his temple. 

Slowly, Virgil’s crying slows and his breathing calms. “Thank you, Patt.” he mutters, his voice hoarse from his cries. 

“Oh, Virge, i'm sorry I couldn't have done more.”

Virgil sits up a bit to look at Pat and shakes his head, “You did enough, more than enough actually- wait.... Are you crying?”

Patton nods, sniffing and rubbing at his face to try to clean off the dried on tears.

Virgil ‘s eyes grow wide, “Oh gosh I bit you! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to! I didn't want to hurt you Patt I-”

“Shh, Virgil, I'm fine. It’s fine. I wasn't crying because you bit me and I know you would never bite me like that on purpose.”

Virgil takes some deep breaths, calming his breathing.

At the sound of Virgil’s voice, Roman turns around. “Virgil, are... are you okay?” he asks.

Virgil climbs out of Patton’s lap and turns to face the others, hissing as he lowers his arms, “I mean.... define okay. I'm not dead.... uh” 

Logan sighs, “Like Roman said, we are concerned. I'm assuming you’re still in at least some pain, but could you stand or walk if you needed to?” 

Virgil nods, “Yeah, I'm in a lot less pain now, but I am pretty exhausted. My wings are sore, and are going to be sore and sensitive for about a week. After that I'll be back to normal. As far as walking goes, I'm probably going to be slower and a bit clumsier since my wings help me balance so much, but other than that I shouldn't have any problems.”

Logan frowns at him, “How... How do you know all of that?”

Virgil looks down at his feet and winces, “Can we just go back to the house so I can lay down and take some painkillers?” _I don't want to have this conversation right now._

Patton grabs his hand, “Virge?”

“Can we at least go home first?” Virgil begs as he gestures to his old wings sitting not three feet away. 

Roman grimaces and nods, “Yeah, lets... lets go.”

With that they all sink out and into the living room. Virgil sprawls on the floor, Patton takes a seat next to him, leaning on the nearest wall, and Roman and Logan sit on the couch.

“Okay but seriously, can I have some food and pain meds?” Virgil groans.

Roman nods, “I’ll get the strongest ones we have.” He says, rushing to get the supplies.

Logan adjusts his glasses, “So, if you don't mind me asking, uh, how does that work? Why did they grow back?”

“Logan,” Virgil groans, “I just regrew wings that are half the size of my body and was able to feel it the whole time. My brain is so tired I couldn't tell you if I wanted to.”

“Are you magical?” Patton asks.

Virgil sighs, “I don't think so, but if I am, this is a curse I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.”

The room goes quiet again right as Roman comes back, “I got pain killers, some water, and an assortment of snacks”

Virgil smiles, propping himself up on his arms as Roman sets the impressive display of food in front of him.

“I'm sorry.” Roman mumbles.

Virgil shakes his head, “Everything you brought is great,”

“No, i'm sorry I couldn't stop him.”

Virgil sits up, medicine halfway to his mouth, “You tried, that’s all that matters. You are not responsible for everything your brother does. I appreciate you trying to help. You did all that you could.”

“But if I had done something sooner.”

Virgil shakes his head firmly, “No, don't blame yourself. Thinking about the ‘what ifs’ is my job.”

Roman nods, silently.

Virgil takes the meds, grabs a granola bar and starts eating. When he is done he closes his eyes and groans as he settles back down on the carpet.

“How... how did you know they were going to come back like that?”

Virgil sighs, “Isn't it obvious? This isn't the first time Re- the Duke has chopped off my wings to get a snack.”

Roman sputters, “A snack?! You mean he...?”

“Yes. I don't think he knows that other people eat _chicken_ wings, either that or he just doesn't care.”

Patton makes a small concerned noise.

Virgil goes to pop his neck and groans as his stretching goes in vain.

Patton sits up a bit, noticing his discomfort, “Would you like a back massage?”

“I... I don't know, maybe.”

Patton nods, “I could just do your shoulders and your lower back if you want.”

Virgil tries to pop his neck again and nothing happens, “You know what, sure. But I wanna lay on my bed for that.”

Patton smiles, “No problem.”

They sink out to Virgil’s room. Virgil is already sprawled out on the bed by the time Patton gets there.

“So, uh, how would you like me to do this?” Patton asks taking a seat on the bed

Virgil mumbles, “I don't know, just... start wherever you want to. But like, let me know before you do, so I don't freak out too bad.”

Patton nods, “Okay. Uh, is it okay if you take off your shirt or would you rather keep it on?”

Virgil snaps his shirt off.

Patton sighs, “I could’ve done that for you, you didn't have to use the energy to do that.”

“Well I prefer to be the one that controls my clothing so, sorry.”

“Oh, no, it's fine V.”

Patton looks over his back and makes a plan, “V, is it okay if I start with your lower back?”

He makes a noise of acknowledgement and sighs, “This was your idea Pat. Do whatever you think is best. I trust you. Just tell me what you’re doing.”

Patton smiles, “Okay. well then I’ll start at your lower back and I'm going to use some massage oil to make sure I don't hurt you. I'm only planning on going maybe halfway up your back but let me know if anything hurts too much or you want me to stop, okay?”

Virgil nods, “Sounds good.”

Patton rubs the oil on his hands and places himself next to Virgil. He reaches over and gently places a hand on his lower back, stilling as Virgil flinches at his touch but relaxes back to meet it. Patton rubs a slow circle on his back in appreciation. He brings his other hand to Virgil’s back, sliding it on over his other hand. Virgil only just flinches at that. 

Slowly, Patton rubs his hands over Virgil’s back pressing down slightly to see where any tension may lie. He then works with the side closest to him. He finds the tension and rubs it out working from the middle of his back out outwards. Starting at the base of his spine where the top of his pants ends. As Patton works, Virgil melts under his touch, relaxing and sighing as the tension that he hadn't even realised was there releases.

Patton works his way up Virgil’s spine to the halfway point before shifting to the other side, keeping one hand on Virgil the entire time. He begins the process anew on this side of Virgil’s back. He gets about three quarters of the way through and thinks Virgil might’ve fallen asleep. However as he starts massaging the next section, Virgil groans.

“Pat, stop.”

Patton immediately stills his hands releasing all the pressure he had been applying, “What’s wrong kiddo?”

Virgil buries his face in his arms, “That... it hurt.”

Patton hums, “Okay. Thank you for telling me, I won't rub there anymore. Would you like me to move up a bit or something and keep going on your back or would you rather I move to your neck and shoulders or are you done?”

“I uh, would you rub my neck please?”

Patton nods, “Of course, kitten.” He shuffles up the bed to sit above Virgil’s head. “You uh, I can't do this very well with your head tilted to the side.”

Virgil frowns, “Well I can't lay on my back right now... why don't you just rub my shoulders instead?”

Patton shakes his head, “You know what, I have an idea.” He snaps and suddenly he is holding a neck pillow like the ones they sell for airplanes. He holds it out to Virgil, “Maybe try using this so you can breathe and still have your head the right way.”

Virgil lifts his head and Patton sets the pillow down. Virgil slowly lowers his head into the pillow, letting the thing surround his face, “This isn't actually that bad.”

Patton smiles, “I'm glad. I'm going to start on your neck now.”

Virgil sighs as his hands gently rub away the tension in his neck. He has never felt this relaxed before. He might actually be melting into the comforter, but he would never admit it.

Patton smiles as he watches Virgil relax even more. He is just happy to be able to help in some way.

“Pat?”

“Hmm?”

“You know how you call me kitten sometimes?”

Patton smiles, “Yeah, I like cats.’

Virgil chuckles, “I know, but I wanted to tell you, uh animal-based nicknames weird me out a bit, they just remind me of the others a lot.”

“Oh, like Mr. Liar Man?”

Virgil smiles at the silly name, “Yeah, like him.”

Patton thinks on it, “Okay. Thanks for telling me kiddo. I’ll do my best to remember to stop calling you kitten.”

Virgil humms, “Thanks Patt.”

There is a pause as Patton moves from rubbing Virgil’s neck to rub his shoulders before he asks, “Does that mean you won’t call me butterfly anymore?”

“Probably,” Virgil admits, “I mean, unless i'm gonna turn you into one.”

Patton giggles, “Well it would be fun to have wings like you.”

“I'm not enjoying the wings right now, but I guess on a more normal day you might like it.” Virgil says.

Patton frowns, “Is there another nickname you want me to call you instead?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Uh, no, I'm fine with whatever you choose, just not stormcloud or something animal based, please.”

Patton hums, “Okay, I'll do my best to come up with a really good one, okay?”

Virgil smiles, starting to nod off with how relaxed he has become, “Okay Pat.”

\----

Virgil spends the next few days laying in his bed, three days later he finally feels good enough to get up and join the others. They spend the day planning for videos and watching cartoons and movies. When they finish the second Harry Potter movie, Roman goes to put in the third, ready to have a marathon until bed.

“No, not that one please.” Virgil asks ad Roman pulls the movie from the case.

Patton frowns, “Why not? I thought this one was your favorite. Aren’t Sirius and Lupin your favorite characters?”

Virgil sighs, “Yeah, normally I do like this movie, but I don't think I can watch Remus turn into a werewolf right now.”

Logan frowns for a moment before it hits him. That scene is startlingly similar to what happened to Virgil mere days ago. It must be painful to watch, “Oh. Well, okay, we can skip to the fourth one then.”

Virgil grimaces at the thought of watching Voldemort grow a body and sighs, “Why don't we just watch Frozen and call it a night?”

Roman sets down the movie case, “Virgil, are you okay? I know you did not just recommend watching Frozen of all things.”

He sighs, “Yes, I did. I know for certain it is something that won't trigger me or the rest of you and is lighthearted enough that Patton wont get nightmares from it.”

Logan looks at Virgil, his brows pulled together and shakes his head, “Virgil, please, you need to talk to us about what happened.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Virgil crosses his arms and pulls his hood up, “You have no idea what you are asking of me. You don't want to hear about it. I... I don't want to burden you... To hurt you.”

Logan crosses his arms, “Virgil, It is unhealthy to bottle up one’s emotions regarding trauma. If the emotions are ignored then healing is almost impossible.”

Virgil throws his hands in the air, “Well, maybe since I haven't healed I don't want to talk about it! And you aren't my therapists so it’s none of your business!”

Patton frowns, “We may not be your therapist, but we are your friends, and we want to support you and help you V. We care about you”

“I get that, I get that you care, but what do you want me to say? What do you want to hear from me? That I could feel my bones breaking and reforming, raggedly growing into existence? Tell you that they used to punish me by cutting off my wings when I did something wrong? To know that it has been so long since the last time they cut my wings off that I had almost managed to forget what it feels like? That they’ve done that to me almost 20 times and that it hurts worse every time? Tell you about the horrible memories I have of them breaking the bones in my wings as they were forming because they knew they would heal quickly and still hurt just as much as if they didn't heal so fast? Do you want to hear about how hard it is to sleep at night sometimes when I'm terrified of one of them coming in and cutting them off again? _What do you want from me?_ ” Virgil’s voice cracks and his breath catches as he starts to cry.

Patton wimpers, slowly reaching out to take Virgil’s hand.

Virgil pulls away from him and Patton retracts his hand quickly.

Virgil sniffs, “Sorry Patton, but I don't want to be touched right now.”

Logan stares at him, pain and regret etched into his face, “Virgil I, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you like that.”

Virgil shakes his head, “It’s okay, I know you were just trying to help.” He looks around, withering under the stares of the others. 

Paton looks at him imploringly, “We aren't going to hurt you Virgil. I promise.”

Virgil gives him a small smile, he knows that.

Roman nods, “We love you Virgil, and we want to protect you, we want to help you. We never want to see you in that much pain ever again.”

“I know, and I really appreciate that, but I don't think there’s anything you can do.” Virgil says with a sigh.

“Can... may I please hold your hand?” Patton asks

“I... I said I don't want to be touched right now Patton.”

Patton nods, “It’s just... I don't know what else I could do to help.”

Virgil shrugs, “You cant really help right now Patton. This isn't something that can go away in five minutes or after one therapy session. I need to work through this by myself.”

Patton deflates a bit at his words, “Oh. well... can I at least sit under you and lean on the couch? I just wanna be close to you V.”

Virgil smiles a bit, “You can sit with me Pat.”

Patton smiles and rushes to sit with him.

Virgil sighs, adjusting his position on the couch a little, “Why don't we just watch Frozen and move on for now? I... I just need some time.”

Roman nods, shooting him a sad half-smile as he grabs the movie and puts it in the dvd player.

They watch the movie in relative peace. Roman hums the songs under his breath, and Logan scolds him while Patton chides the two of them for talking during the movie which Logan counters as being hypocritical, and honestly Virgil finds it all a bit endearing. He feels safe here. So, when Patton starts crying when the movie ends, he lets his hand fall to the side for Patton to take.

Patton grabs it and rubs his thumbs over the back of it, kissing where it meets his wrist. He closes his eyes and focuses on making Virgil feel better. 

Virgil feels pain leaving his body and sighs, before he sees the frown on Patton’s face. When he does, he rips his hand away from Patton’s grip, “Pat no! Why would you do that?”

Patton looks up at him shocked and confused, “I... I just want to help”

Virgil shakes his head, staring at him scared, eyes wide, “You could’ve really hurt yourself Pat! Don't you ever do that again!”

Patton looks up at him kindly, “I'm fine kiddo, really. I mean I took a lot more when you grew them back in the first place and I was perfectly fine then.”

Virgil’s jaw drops, “Is... oh I'm going to regret asking this. Is that why you were crying?”

Patton shakes his head, “No, not at first!”

Logan groans, “Patton! We’ve talked about this!”

“Logan, you know-”

Roman interrupts him, “Padre, you’re gonna really hurt yourself someday and whoever you’re taking the pain from is going to feel guilty because of it!” Roman insists. 

Patton shakes his head, “I wont! I know my limits! Why do you think I didn't take all of Virgil’s pain when the wings were growing in? Why do you think I didn't try to heal him?”

Logan frowns, “One of these days something is going to happen to one of us and you aren't going to be able to fix it.”

“Don't say that!”

“It’s true.” He insists.

“No!”

“It isn't your job to fix everything Pat!” Virgil explains, “Some things... some people, we’re just broken and you can't fix it.”

Everyone goes silent.

Roman is the one to speak up, “Virgil, you’re not-”

“You don't know.” Virgil snaps, more venom in his voice than he intended, but he doesn't care. “You guys have absolutely no idea what I was like before... before the others screwed me up. When I wasn’t terrified of everything. I didn't always have these permanent bags under my eyes. I wasn't always this jumpy or antisocial or broken. I'm so broken I barely even remember what I was like before. I just barely remember a time where I was genuinely happy most of the time... when I didn't have wings. I'm just broken, almost always have been. You can't fix me.” Virgil grows quiet, hugging his knees close to his chest, staring at the others hesitantly.

“Virgil... I...”

Virgil shakes his head, “No, I don't remember what happened. I just remember a flash of light and searing pain and then I had wings. I'm just like this now.”

Logan swallows and carefully asks, “Is there anything else we should know?” 

Virgil sighs and shrugs,“Well, I uh, I guess I might as well tell you everything at this point. So here goes nothing, I'm nonbinary and my pronouns are they/them.” Virgil pauses as the shock of what they admitted hits them. “I can't believe I just told you that. Uh, I'm going to go lock myself in my room now.” they sink out instantly, leaving no room for argument.

The room is left in a few moments of stunned silence.

“I'm going to go follow them.” Patton announces, getting to his feet.

Roman shakes his head placing an arm on Patton’s shoulder, “No Patton. We need to give them time.”

Logan sighs, “We messed up. We pushed Virgil when we should’ve waited for them to open up to us and now we are paying for it.” 

Patton frowns, “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

Roman sighs, looking sadly towards Virgil’s room, “You don't, not right now.” 

\----

It has been two weeks and Virgil has not left their room, though they have taken the meals left outside their door and left the empty plates to be taken when they were done. 

Patton and Roman decide to go on an outing in the imagination that afternoon while Logan does research on things that might have given Virgil their wings. 

Slowly, dinnertime approaches and neither Patton nor Roman come back from the imagination. Logan makes Virgil and himself a sandwich and goes to leave the food outside of Virgil’s door when he sees a note has already been placed there. 

The messy green writing reads, “Hello Virgil, I have captured Roman and Patton. They will pay for what you have done. Don't bother coming after them, when i'm done there won't be anyone to come for.”

Logan drops the plate in his hand, “V.... Virgil? Have you seen the note on your door? This is urgent.”

“No L, what is it?”

“It’s from Remus.”

Virgil swears, opening the door and coming out to see the note.

As they read it their face goes pale, “Holy shit.”

“It’s a trap” Logan mutters.

Virgil shrugs, “Obviously. But that doesn't mean i'm just going to let him kill them.”

“You aren't going without me.”

Virgil sighs, “Could I even stop you if I tried?”

“No.”

They already knew that, but they don't say so, “Well then, let's go save our family.”

Logan nods as they head off into the imagination, Virgil leading the way.

\----

“No! Stop! Don't do this to him! Please!” Patton begs as Roman’s cries echo around the room. They are in a dungeon-like space, Patton is chained to the wall in a small locked cell with jail-cell doors.

Remus has Roman strapped to a table and is currently making small slices to the sensitive skin on his ears, hands, fingers, and face. 

Remus humms lightly, “Stop? Hmm? No, I don't think I will. I think I am going to carve my name into his forearm so he will never forget about me, about us!”

“No!” Patton screams, “No!”

“You’re right, I could do much worse. Why don't I stab him somewhere!”

“No, not him! Don't hurt him!”

Remus freezes, turning slowly to face Patton with a demented gleam in his eye, “Oh! so sweet wittle Patton _likes_ getting hurt, huh? You want me to hurt you? Would you enjoy that?” he taunts, “Maybe I should give you a good whipping!”

Patton looks from Remus’s face and sees Roman’s look of horror. Roman shakes his head, trying to get Patton to back down.

Patton stares Remus down, “If it means you aren’t hurting Roman? Yes.”

Roman clasps his hands together, “Oh, how noble! You really are a good friend! I think I will take you up on that, but I'm not quite done with my brother yet. Why don't I give you some input since you’re so eager to talk, hmm? Where shall I carve my name into him, his forehead, his arm, or his feet?”

Patton opens his mouth to speak

“You know what I wanna do his feet. Sorry, If you’re faster next time you can choose!”

\----

Logan and Virgil walk towards the other’s part of the mind, where Virgil knows their castle-like house, complete with fully equipped dungeons, lays. 

Logan notices the tenseness in Virgil’s wings as they move and frowns, “Virgil, are... are you sure you want to do this, to go back?”

Their wings bristle a bit, “No. I don't want to go. I never thought I would, but I will for Roman and Patton’s sake. And just so we’re clear, use he/him pronouns once we get there, alright?”

Logan nods, “That is understandable, but why are you doing this? Why would you put yourself into a situation where you have to see _them_ again?”

Virgil sighs, “I can't let them get hurt like I did. And I sure as hell can't let them think I abandoned them, abandoned the family, without even trying to save them.”

Logan nods solemnly “I understand.” After a moment he adds the question he just dares to ask, “Does that mean you are no longer upset with us?”

Virgil blinks, but their pace doesn't falter, “Upet? No, I'm not upset. I forgave you guys for questioning me after two days.”

Logan hesitates and falls behind a step, “Well then why have you not left your room for two weeks?”

Virgil grimaces, “Because I... I’m scared that you guys are going to use the wrong pronouns or say something about how my identity isn't valid. I... I couldn't take that right now. Not from you guys, not my family.”

Logan gently lays a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, stopping him, “We would never hurt you like that V. Never. We all completely respect you and your identity and pronouns. We have had two weeks to practice using them while you were in your room. We rarely slip up now, and always correct each other if we do. We support you V. You do not have to be afraid. We are not going to reject you, especially not for this.”

Virgil can't help the small smile that rises to their face, “Thanks L. I needed to hear that.”

\----

“Why are you doing this?!” Patton wails as Remus unclips Roman from the table having carved his name into each of his brother’s feet. 

Remus chuckles, “Normally I don't ever have reasons. But you're lucky, this time. I'm doing this to get back at Virgil for leaving us! I can't wait to try out my new toys on him! I left a note for him on his door! He should've seen it by now and be on his way.”

Patton’s stomach drops as Remus hangs Roman up in chains next to him and swallows the lump in his throat as Remus unlocks his chains.

“He... he hasn't left his room in two weeks. He isn't going to see that note.”

“Well, then I guess we just have more time to play before he shows up!” Remus exclaims with glee as he drags Patton out of the cell.

\----

They see the castle on the horizon and Logan realises he has no idea what happens next, “What is the plan for when we get there?”

Virgil sighs, “We sneak in and you get them out while I distract Remus. Sink out to the living room when you have them. Then, when you guys are free, I will meet you back there.”

Logan quirks an eyebrow, “Are you sure that the plan will work?”

Virgil squares their shoulders and stares straight ahead, “It has to.” they admit, “I won't be able to forgive myself if it doesn't.”

\----

Patton screams as the whip lands across his back. His back which is already covered with welts and cuts and bruises from how much Remus has been “playing” with him.

Remus rolls up the whip and smiles as he examines his work. He runs a hand down Patton’s back, making him choke out a sob between his quiet tears.

“Oh, wow Patty dear, you really do take your pain so well!” Remus croons as he presses down on a particularly raised welt. Patton whimpers pitifully and lets out a cry as Remus rakes his nails down his back. 

Suddenly there's a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Remus calls happily, putting the whip away.

The door swings open, “Hey trash man.” 

Remus looks up with a smile to see Virgil walking into the room. 

Roman stares at them, eyes wide, clinging to the chains on his wrists, “Virgil! It’s a trap! Run!”

Virgil shrugs, “Of course it’s a trap. I would be surprised if it was anything else.”

Remus stares at them with a hungry look in his eye, “Oh, Virgil, what pretty wings you have.”

Virgil rolls their eyes, “What have you done with Dad here? Looks like you’ve been having fun with him already.”

Remus smiles and spins the table Patton has been strapped to so that he is facing Virgil, “I just finished giving him a nice and thorough whipping! We’ve been having a lot of fun today!”

Virgil nods slowly, trying to look impressed, “Nice choice. I see you’ve gone for targeting all the soft sensitive spots, some things never change, do they Dukey?” Virgil asks, looking up to see Logan sink out with Roman.

Remus shrugs, “Why try to fix what isn't broken?”

“Well, I think there are some better ways to... personalize your techniques to the captive, so while this definitely will work on everyone. It just would not be my go to for him.”

Remus steps forward towards Virgil, “Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

He steps even farther forward “Well, why not share what you’ve learned with dear old Dukey?”

Virgil takes a step back, shakes his head, and crosses his arms, “I already shared my wings with you, you're gonna have to earn it if you want anything more.”

Remus sneers, “Oh, those old things, those don't mean a _thing_.”

Virgil scoffs, “They kinda meant a bit to me. Cut the crap, why do you want my new wings so soon? Did you already finish the last set? Do I not taste good to you anymore?”

Remus sneers, “Your last pair was a bit chewy, it got stuck in my teeth.”

Virgil represses a shudder of disgust, “What makes you think these will be any different?” They ask, as they watch Logan gently sink out with Patton. 

“These wings haven't had the use of those last ones. The fresher the wing, the more supple the meat.” Remus says gesturing like a stereotypical Italian chef. 

Virgil turns up their nose, “Not gonna lie dude, that's disgusting.”

“Thank you!”

Virgil shrugs, “You’re not welcome, and you might want to check on your prisoners before you come after me.”

Remus stills, tilting his head dramatically. He spins around and shrieks when he sees the empty room around him.

Virgil sinks out fast, a smirk on his face.

“You stinking codfish!!!” Remus shrieks, “I’ll tear out all your feathers one by one!”

\----

When Virgil finally makes it back to the living room, Roman has been laid on the floor with a towel under his feet. Logan has Roman’s head in his lap and is holding his hands as the princely side thrashes and screams.

Only then does Virgil realise that Patton is still not wearing a shirt, and crying.

Patton is kneeling at Roman’s feet, his hands are glowing, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry Ro. I can either heal it or make it feel better, but not both. I know it hurts. I'm sorry. I know. I'm sorry. I'm almost done. There. There, I’m done. It’s okay, you’re okay now.”

Virgil falls to their knees as the reality of what they just managed to do hits them like a freight train. _Deep breaths in, one... two... three... four. Hold one... two... three-_

Logan sighs in relief, “Virgil, oh thank god, you’re safe!”

Patton frowns, “Wait, what’s wrong?”

Virgil looks up and sees Patton reaching for them, “I'm fine.” they mutter, scrambling away from Patton’s touch. “Don't hurt yourself more for me.”

“Oh...” Patton pulls away, worrying his bottom lip in his teeth, “I.. V, I wasn't trying... I just wanted to give you a hug.”

Virgil curses under their breath, “I.. I'm sorry Pat. I’d like a hug”

Patton’s head perks up, “Really?!”

Virgil nods. 

Patton practically tackles them as he throws himself into their arms.

Virgil lays their hands on Patton’s shoulders to avoid hurting the emotional side. 

_Safe, safe. I'm safe. Patton, Ro, and Logan are safe. He’s gone, Remus is gone. I'm okay._ Virgil tells himself as the panic continues to press in.

Patton suddenly presses a kiss to Virgil’s forehead and for a moment, all the whirling thoughts in his brain stay still. 

“You came. You saved us... thank you.”

Virgil smiles, “Of course I did Patton. I wouldn't leave you two with him...” they trail off stiffening up at the thought.

Patton strokes their hair, “Hey, V, we’re okay. We are safe, okay?”

Virgil nods. They bury their head in Patton’s hair, grounding themself.

When Virgil finally feels like their brain has stopped spinning, they sit up and Patton releases them from the hug.

“Are you with us again Virgil?” Logan asks.

Virgil nods, “Yeah, I'm back.”

Roman looks at them, soft and reserved, a look that Virgil rarely sees, “Thank you. I don't typically like being the one who is saved, but this time... I don't mind so much.”

Virgil shrugs, “Even princes need rescuing sometimes. Speaking of, how are you doing?”

Roman wiggles his hand in a so-so gesture, “My feet hurt a lot less now, but i'm still... _dealing_ with seeing my brother again. Oh, about my feet, Patton I... I was wondering, did they scar?”

Patton nods, “Only a little.” When Roman’s face falls he is quick to explain, “I did my best to try to heal them in a way where you would have no scarring, but I just couldn't avoid it completely.”

Roman sighs and nods, “Okay... thank you for trying.”

“Of course, Ro.” Patton insists, shuffling forward a few feet to take his hand.

Virgil winces as they see Patton’s back, “Are you okay Pat? That looks... bad.” 

Patton freezes for a moment, “I... yeah. It was bad when I tried putting on my shirt, but uh... with nothing touching it i'm okay.” Virgil raises a skeptical eyebrow, “Why don't I get you a glass of water? I want one myself, actually we all could probably stand to have one.” Patton offers.

Roman nods, “I would like one. Thanks Padre.”

Patton smiles as he stands to get the water, “No problem kiddo.”

When Patton comes back Virgil feels like something is... off. Patton is acting a bit strange, but not in any way they could describe. Their gut just senses something.

Patton hands Roman Logan and Virgil glasses of water to drink, keeping one for himself. But he doesn’t drink it. Virgil sniffs the drink suspicious and winces at the smell.

“Don't drink it guys! This isn't water!”

“What do you mean?” Logan asks.

“Just... smell it!” Virgil insists.

Logan does and immediately takes Roman’s cup from him, staring accusingly at Patton, “What is that?” 

Patton frowns at him, “It’s water, I swear! Why would I give you something other than water to drink?”

Virgil squints, “I don't know. Maybe you just wanted to lie about what you were getting us, Deceit.”

Deceit rolls his eyes as he flickers back into his own form, “Wow, you really are so _smart_.”

“Where is Patton?!” Roman yells.

Deceit chuckles, “Oh, don't worry about him. You won't be seeing him again.”

“Where _is_ he?” Virgil demands.

Deceit shrugs, “Just hanging out in the lowest dungeon with Orion.”

Virgil’s stomach drops and they think they might be sick right then and there. 

Deceit sinks out with a smirk, “Good luck boys.”

Virgil does their best to actively keep themselves out of a panic attack and quell the nausea pooling in their stomach.

“I'm gonna go get him.” Roman yells trying and failing to sit up with Logan actively holding them down.

“Not alone you’re not.” Virgil sighs.

Logan struggles to keep Roman on the ground, “ _Roman_... your feet!”

Roman rolls over to look at Logan properly, “You couldn't keep me here if you bribed me with a promise of getting a role as a gay disney prince.”

Logan sighs in defeat, “Fine, but i'm coming with you.”

“You both know this is a trap, right?” Virgil clarifies. 

“Oh, yeah.” Roman shrugs waving him off.

“You don't care?”

“No.” Logan shakes his head.

“Okay, well, I guess it’s time for another adventure” Virgil admits, swallowing at the nausea and panic. 

\----

Patton curls himself up as tight as he can where he is on the floor, the crushed glass covering the floor cutting into the exposed skin on his arms, legs, ears, and even his scalp. He grimaces at the sharp pain in his back where his fresh welts and cuts protest at being stretched.

He does his best not to whimper as his back seizes up.

“Feeling comfortable?” a cold voice asks.

Patton does not answer. A sharp kick to his back makes him jerk in pain moving further on the glass.

“I said. Feeling comfortable?”

Patton whimpers, “No, master.”

The figure spits on him, “Good. Now don't stretch out. You won't like what happens when you do. Oh, and your friends, they’re on their way over.”

“No!”

“Yes! Soon you can all be together and we can all have fun playing with each other! Of course, Virgil will have to go, he deserves it, leaving us. Or we might just chain him up gag him, hang him from the ceiling, and let him watch. Either way, we will have you three all to ourselves, no taking turns needed. Remus can have his brother and Deceit... oh Dee and Logan will have a great time, at least Dee will. And as for you... you’re _mine_..”

Patton trembles at the thought. ”Why would you do this, master?” Patton asks, only just remembering to add the title at the end.

The figure growls and Patton squeezes his eyes shut, “I should punish you for talking out of turn, but I won't... this time, because at least you addressed me properly. As for why, well...” they chuckle, “You made me this way Patton, you should know _why_.”

Patton shakes his head, 

“Oh? What is this? You deny responsibility? Speak.”

Patton speaks boldly, though he is close to tears, “I didn't make you this way, you did that. I cannot control who you are, master. I sent you away because you were like this. I am not responsible for your actions”

The figure laughs, “Au contraire Patton, you sending me away only solidified who I am. I had the potential for change and you decided to abandon me to become more harsh and bitter instead of showing me love and compassion like you did to the others. That. Is. On. You.” He growls, kicking Patton’s back to punctuate every word.

Patton gasps, seeing stars as one last kick is aimed at his head, groaning as the pain sets in.

“Now.” The figure says, “What do you say for your punishment?”

“Thank you, master.” Patton mumbles as he begins to cry.

“Good. Now don't. Move.”

\----

The trio come to a hallway and peek around the corner. There at the end of the hall in a room with an open door, they see Patton, laying on his side.

“It’s a trap.” Logan says.

“Yeah, what else would it be?” Virgil quips. “Sorry, that was harsh. I'm just a bit on edge.”

Logan sighs, “It’s okay, we all are. Let’s just get Patt and get out of here.”

They sneak closer, going down the hallway, hiding in doorways. Virgil struggles to hold back a gasp as they see blood beginning to pool around Patton. _God, I hope he's still alive._ They think to themself. _If he dies I'd never forgive myself._

Suddenly Patton opens his eyes. Virgil makes eye contact with him and holds a finger to his lips, then moving his arms in a gesture for calm. 

Patton blinks hard twice, a no.

Virgil seems to understand and nods in response. They don't care that this is a trap, they want to save Patton.

Patton feels his stomach drop as he sees what Virgil is trying to tell him. They are playing right into Orion’s plan and he can't tell them. There’s nothing he can do. So he waits, eyes closed and muscles tense. He waits, dreading what will happen.”

“We know you’re out there.” The cold voice calls. “Why don't you come in and play?”

Patton freezes. 

A rock is thrown into the room and the floor buzzes as electrical pads zap the heavy object.

“What is that? A symbol of surrender?”

Another rock is thrown, this time it scatters to the other side of the room. It too is met with a shock and buzzing electricity.

“If you’re trying to figure out which parts of the floor are electric, all of the tiles surrounding that half of the room are pressure triggered. You cannot get to Patton without getting shocked. There is no way to save him.” 

\----

Virgil groans inwardly as Logan and Roman bicker about what they could use to save themselves from the electric tiles. Logan is voting for thick rubber boots, Roman for a bridge of plywood. Virgil shushes them and gestures to their wings, themself, and then to Patton. 

Logan’s eyes grow wide, “No V, you're not strong enough yet.” He whispers frantically.

“I have to try.” 

Virgil walks up to the edge of the room and stares at Orion. He is standing in the back corner of the room, staring back with a pleased expression on his face.

“Oh Virgil, how nice to see you again my little stormcloud. Are you here to be the first sacrifice?” Orion asks.

Patton’s eyes snap open. _Virgil no!_

Virgil ignores Orion, “Patton. Hey, it’s okay, everything is okay. Do you think you have the energy to walk to me? If the room wasn't electrified I mean, could you do that for me?”

Patton swallows thickly and nods.

“Okay. Good job, Patt. You’re so strong. I believe in you. Stay alive for me butterfly, okay?” Virgil asks.

Patton’s eyes widen and he nods.

With that Virgil turns around and walks away.

“Where are you going? You just leave him here to die? You coward! You heartless fool, giving him hope when there is none!” Orion shouts after them. 

Virgil ducks back into the doorway with Logan and Roman. They close their eyes and focus. Their hands begin to glow slightly and when they feel the tension pop they exhale and drop their hands. 

Logan’s eyes go wide and he inhales sharply. 

Virgil knows they were successful when they hear Orion and Deceit’s screams.

“Where did he go?”

“He just disappeared!”

Patton smiles to himself as he looks at his butterfly form. He sneaks among the cracks in the tiles, crawling on the grout until he reaches the start of the hallway. Then he flies. He flies and the feeling is exhilarating, but it hurts so bad. The cuts and bruised muscles sending shards of pain through his body with every flap. Suddenly he finds himself floating in front of Virgil.

“Hey Pattycake. Time to take a ride. Come sit in my hair and hold tight okay?” 

Patton does as he is told, holding tight to Virgil’s curls as they sink out

\----

They rise up in the livingroom and Virgil gently ushers butterfly Patton onto their hand and then onto the floor in the middle of the room.

“Ready?” Virgil asks.

Roman and Logan watch in awe as Virgil’s hands glow bright again. They see the tension build in his body, then suddenly, it's gone. And where there once was a butterfly lays Patton.

It seems everyone releases a sigh of relief. Everyone except Virgil. They rush to Patton’s side frantic.

“Pat, hey. Hey, look at me? You’re okay, you’re safe now. We’re here.”

Patton looks up at them with watery eyes and a trembling lip, “Hurts... hurts so-o bad,” he sobs, breath hitching. 

“I know, i'm sorry Patt. I'm gonna help you with the cuts. I want to help you feel better. Okay?”

Patton nods.

Slowly, Virgil takes Patton’s arm, moving it towards themself.

Patton hisses between hiccuping breaths.

“I'm sorry.” Virgil says as they look over the cuts on Patton’s arm and realise they are in way over their head. They look to Patton, “Will you let Logan help me? I don't think I can do this by myself.”

Patton looks from them to Logan and back before nodding.

Logan steps forward, “Thank you Patton.”

Patton whimpers in response.

“What can I do?” Roman asks, looking a bit squeamish.

Virgil thinks for a moment, “You can set up a nice relaxation room for the four of us to hang out in while Pat recovers. Make it as cozy and comforting as possible.”

Roman smiles, “I can do that, for sure! One comforting recovery room coming right up!” Roman cheers sinking out. 

Logan nods, “Good idea.” He mutters, looking over the wounds.

Virgil shrugs, “I know he doesn't like blood and know we will want the room when we’re done.”

Patton whimpers, “Virgil, I don't feel good.”

Virgil turns to him, voice soft, “What kind of not feel good?”

“ ‘M dizzy, and my tummy hurts.”

Virgil nods, “Okay. Thank you for telling me. I can't do much to help that until we fix your cuts though.”

“ ‘Kay.” Patton sighs

Logan pulls Virgil close to him and whispers, “Virgil, those are symptoms of blood loss.”

Virgil nods “I know.”

Logan doesn’t release him, “We’re going to have to actually remove the glass from his side.”

“I know...”

“He is in no state-”

Virgil roughly pulls away from Logan’s grasp “I _know_ , give me a minute.” they huff. “Hey, Pat?”

“Hmm?”

“You have cuts on your side under your shirt. We need to take it off, okay?”

Patton whimpers, “Don't hurt me, please.”

Virgil shakes their head firmly, “We won’t, we need to do that to help make it better.”

“Mmmm... okay.” Patton mutters hesitantly.

Virgil smiles gently and snaps Patton’s shirt away, “Thank you, Patton.”

The two spend a minute examining the wounds and realise there is no way they are going to be able to do the kind of work they need to do while Patton is awake. Logan fetches a sleeping potion from Roman and brings it back.

“Here Pat, drink up.” Logan offers.

“What is it?”

“It’s a sleeping potion.”

“Why am I drinking it? I don't wanna sleep.” Patton wines

Virgil sighs, “Pat we need to take glass out of your side and you don't want to be awake, it will hurt too much,”

Patton frowns, “Said you weren’t going to hurt me!”

Virgil takes his hand, “I know Pattycake, and this is us keeping our promise. We will help it get better but what we need to do is gonna hurt pretty bad, but only if you’re awake. If you’re asleep then it won’t hurt and we won’t be breaking our promise.”

“Does it taste bad?”

Logan shakes his head, “Roman said it tastes like cotton candy.”

Patton humms, “Kay.” He sits up with help from Virgil and drinks the potion.

When Patton falls asleep the two work quickly to remove as much glass as they can as fast as possible. 

An hour and several bouts of swearing later all the glass has been removed, the cuts have been sanitized, Patton has been patched up and his shirt replaced. They don't move him for fear of hurting him or waking him.

About ten minutes later, He opens his eyes and Virgil takes his hand, “Hey there Patton, glad to have you back with us.”

Patton smiles at him.

“We were able to get all of the glass out, okay? You should heal up just fine.”

Patton sighs and promptly grimaces.

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asks urgently.

“My back hurts.”

Virgil nods, “Okay. We have some ice packs and painkillers in the room Roman set up, why don't we head over?”

Patton nods.

They sink out and Patton finds himself laying on a pile of pillows in the middle of a room that has been turned into a giant blanket fort. 

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom.” Virgil says.

Roman rushes over as Patton shows up, “Patton, oh goodness, are you okay?”

Patton smiles up at him, “I’m okay. But if you have Advil and ice packs I wouldn't complain.”

Roman nods and summons the aforementioned items, “Here Pat, take the meds first.”

He does, smiling at Roman thankfully.

“Where do you want the ice packs?” Roman asks.

Patton thinks about it a minute, “My back, the shoulders and above my hips, please.”

Roman nods, “Of course Pat.” he says. He places the ice packs in place gently.

Patton sighs in relief, “Thank you.”

Roman sits above his head, “No problem, but Padre... your back. I... you shouldn't have done that. I could’ve taken more.”

“I know... but I couldn't stand to sit and watch him hurt you any longer.”

Roman moves to lay so he is looking at him, “Patton, I know you did it because you care, but I need you to tell me you’ll never do something like that ever again. Please, promise me you won't.”

Patton sighs, “I... I don't know if I can do that Ro. I would give anything to save you guys.”

Roman frowns, “The sentiment goes both ways Padre. I just... I need to know you will take care of yourself.”

“I... okay Ro. I’ll take care of myself. I... I promise.”

They sit in relative silence as Logan and Virgil return to the room.

Logan smiles, “Ah, I see you’ve already gotten the ice packs. Are they helping?”

Patton nods, “Yeah, they’re helping a bit.”

Virgil sighs, “Good. Tell us when you need new ones or want to move them, okay?”

“MmmHmm.” Patton says.

Virgil and Logan settle into the room, both of them situated so that they can see both Patton, Roman, and each other. Slowly they fall asleep, all except Logan. Logan stays up. He would say it’s because he is thinking, but truly he can't help but be a bit anxious. He stays up to make sure no harm befalls the family in their sleep.

A few hours later, Logan realises that it’s time to change Patton’s bandages. Begrudgingly he wakes Virgil first, and then Patton, letting Roman sleep.

“Time to change your bandages.” Logan whispers to him.

Patton grumbles, turning his face into the pillows under him, “Hmm.. can't you just snap and change them? I’m tired and everything hurts.”

Logan sighs, “I suppose, but first I want to be able to look at your back, okay?”

Patton frowns, “And if I don't let you see it?”

“Then I guess I'm changing them by hand and I’ll see it anyway.”

Virgil glares at Logan but Patton relents, snapping his shirt and the ice packs away.

“Here, just... be gentle... please.” Patton asks in a small voice, even for their whispering.

Logan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. His back is mottled with ugly bruises, a horrible painting of purples, blues, and reds. The mottling is broken up with lines of welts, some bruised and some not, ranging from the size of Patton’s pinky to an inch or so in width. 

Logan sighs and snaps the bandages off and new ones in their place. 

Virgil grimaces and winces as they take it in, “Patton, your _back_...”

Patton frowns, “What about it?”

“It... I... Would you let me help you with it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Let me take care of you. Let me help patch you up. I... I want to help.”

Patton looks at him hesitantly, glancing at Logan and Roman.

Virgil tilts their head, “We can go to your room if you want.”

Patton nods. 

Virgil takes his hand and they sink out together. 

They rise up in Patton’s bedroom and Virgil notices that Patton seems a little bit spaced out.

“You okay there Patton?”

Patton blinks up at them the words pulling him from his thoughts, “Oh, uh, I...” he sighs, “no.”

Virgil nods, “I understand. Would you like to talk about it?”

Patton sniffs a moment and nods.

“Why don't we do that while I help you? Hmm? You can lay on your bed and talk to me while I tend to your back and listen.”

Patton gives them a small smile and nods again, heading over and laying down on the bed.

Virgil joins him, summoning supplies for his back and making themself comfortable.

Patton whimpers as Virgil uncaps a tube of some sort, “What is that?”

Virgil closes it again and shows the bottle to Patton, “This is a bruise cream. It helps with swelling and calms both bruising and welts. It should feel good.”

Patton hums, “Okay, as long as it won't hurt too bad.”

Virgil shakes their head, “It won’t. I promise, I wont do anything to you that I wouldn't do to myself if I was in your position, okay?”

“Okay.”

Virgil squeezes a small bit of cream onto their hand and slowly gently applies it to Patton’s back. He flinches at the cold as the cream first touches him, but he relaxes back into the touch with a sigh and Virgil moves their hand. Slowly they rub the cream onto Patton’s back, applying it liberally.

Patton groans, “Thank you... thank you so much. It feels so good.”

“I'm happy to help.”

The pair sits in silence for a while until Patton finally finds the words to speak.

“He’s awful.”

Virgil sighs, “I... yeah.”

“How did you do it? All those years with them?”

“I...” Virgil takes a moment to find the words, “If i'm being honest Patt, I don't know. It was hard. There were times that I, well, I wanted to give up. I wanted to leave... walk into the subconscious and let myself fade away.”

“... Why didn't you?”

Virgil takes a moment to reply, “I... I don't really know. I guess seeing you guys, how you were so happy, how you... actually liked each other... I think I wanted that. I wanted to hope that maybe... if I could just hold on long enough...”

“You could be here, and we would accept you?”

“... yeah, maybe it could be better, and I was right. It is better.”

Patton hums. After a few more moments of silence he asks a different question, “Did you only come out of your room to save Roman and I?”

Virgil stills and blinks a moment, “No. I... I'm not going back when you feel better. I'm ready to be here now.”

Patton furrows his brows, “You... why did you... are you not angry at us anymore?”

Virgil goes back to applying the cream, “Oh... no. I wasn't really mad, I was... scared.”

“Scared?”

Virgil sighs, focusing diligently on the task at hand, “Yeah. I... had tried to come out to the others... before I started hanging out with you guys more. They... they reacted horribly to put it lightly and I couldn't help but be terrified you guys were going to do that and purposefully misgender me too. I don't think... I couldn't bear it if you did. I couldn't go back to the others though, so I decided to stay in my room, alone, somewhere I couldn't get hurt.”

Patton’s voice takes on a serious tone, “We would never misgender you or invalidate you or your gender on purpose!”

“I know Patton, I know. It just took me a long time to convince the voices in the back of my head that you’re right. I still haven't done that completely, but eventually they should shut up about it and move on to something else.”

“Hmm.” Patton winces as Virgil starts working on a particularly sore welt. “How do you do that? Make the voices in the back of your head stop telling you mean things?”

“Well, it depends on what they’re saying.” Virgil admits. “If they’re telling me things about you guys, then I will fight back with the memories I have with you. When I get the courage to, I then just either go and tell you guys what I'm upset about, or I ask questions that I know are vague enough to get me answers without giving anything away.”

“W-what if they’re telling you things about yourself?” Patton asks quietly.

Virgil stills a moment, “Patton?”

“Oh uh, not... not like I have experience or anything. I'm just... wondering.”

Virgil sighs and wipes their hand off on a towel, “You really aren't good at being subtle.”

“I... I have no idea what you mean!” Patton insists, his voice defensive, but just barely.

Virgil hums, “Whatever you say. To answer your question, when the voices are telling me things about myself I go to you guys and try to have a conversation with one of you, especially you Patton, because you are good at telling me off and making me feel a little more confident in myself.”

“And if that doesn't work?”

“You know what I do. I go up to you and tell you I'm feeling bad about myself and you all spoil me silly and shower me with compliments until I'm convinced that maybe the you mean it. That works 99 times out of 100. And in the small chance that it doesn't, my fears are gone by morning.”

Patton smiles halfheartedly, “I... I lied earlier.” he admits.

Virgil runs a hand through Patton’s hair, “What are the voices telling you Pat?”

Patton’s face falls and he sighs, “I... I don't...”

“I can't help if I don"t know what’s happening, Pat. I know it hurts and I know it’s hard, trust me. But I need you to tell me.”

Patton sighs. For a moment Virgil doesnt think he is going to tell them, but then Patton speaks. He sounds resigned, defeated, nearly robotic, “They... they’re telling me I don't deserve to have you guys take care of me. I deserved to be hurt like I was... He was right, I... I'm worthless, a horrible person. I made him the way he is. It’s my fault he hurt you the way he did. He never would've been the way he is now if I had just tried a little harder, shown him more mercy. I am a despicable person. I... I-” Patton’s breath catches as he starts to cry. 

Virgil crawls around the bed to lay in front of Patton. They reach up and wipe the tears from Patton’s face, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay to cry. But here is a secret you need to know Pat. Listen, the voices never tell the truth. Everything they are telling you is _wrong_ . You aren't a despicable person Sunshine, and you sure as hell can't blame yourself for what that man did to me. You didn't deserve _any_ of the things he did to you. You are a wonderful and beautiful person. You are kind and loving and forgiving to a fault. You deserve to be pampered just as much as the rest of us. You have a beautiful gift in your ability to notice when people are upset and know exactly what they need to make them feel better. You care so much for everyone around you and it is breathtaking.” 

Virgil brushes the hair out of Patton’s face as he looks up at them, “But Patton, you are more than your ability to care for others. I love the way you smile when you see a dog or a cat and the joy you have when you finish a coloring book or a painting. The way you like to dance and sing alone in your room to your favorite music so loud I can hear it in my room down the hall is adorable. It always calms me to see the sparkle in your eyes when you come up with a pun. I... I love you Patton. Don't you dare believe those voices for a minute, okay?” 

Patton smiles through the tears falling down his face, “You... love me?”

“Gosh yes Pat. I love you so much.”

Patton sighs fondly, “I love you too V. I... I wouldn’t have made it through the past few days if I didn't know you were going to come save me. You were my hope while I was in that dungeon, my lighthouse. I never want to lose you V.”

Virgil shakes their head, “You won’t. I promise."


End file.
